Thursday, June 21, 2012

Beautiful Birds...Beautiful Bees

Oh my goodness gracious, I really have been very very busy lately.  I have gone so far as to purchase a wall at-a-glance year planner and marked it with all the to-do things on my list.  To-do as in have to do.  I think there may be a free weekend sometime around the end of next month.  And there I was, thinking Summer was for unwinding.  Ah well, better to be too busy than too quiet I suppose, I just have to remind myself that I can only live one minute at a time, do my best and factor in some unwinding activities.  Actually as I'm ticking off each appointment or job or activity I'm finding myself saying "Well, that wasn't so bad after all!"  It's all about perception I guess.

Better late than never, this post is the follow up to the 'Birds & Bees' piece I wrote a few weeks ago.  I promised I'd write it within a few days but between The Wiggles and my busy calendar it's been a bit longer than that.  If you haven't read the first part it might be a good idea to catch up on it first here. (you can skip the first part of that post, it was just a fun introduction to the topic).

I'll be posting quite a bit in a lot more specific detail about lots of aspects of children, teens, sexuality and marriage in the future so stick with me, but for now I really want to start by sharing some absolute gems of resources which I have found, and am finding so helpful in my job of passing on a healthy and authentic understanding of human sexuality to my children.

You will notice that all of the links, resources and books I am about to recommend are Catholic.  I know a lot of you aren't Catholic but I'm still going to recommend you check them out as they are all equally applicable to children and teens of any denomination. Lots of very practical advice based on the very real dignity and value of each human person.

First up is a super series of books for girls which I stumbled on when I was trawling the internet with a fine-tooth comb for something I could offer my girls which would be able to compete with the 'hip' presentation of the empty values of the Tween periodicals lined up on the magazine shelves of the newsagents.  I really thought there must be something a bit more uplifting than the early introduction to swooning over boy-bands and strawberry lip-gloss for nine year-olds.  My trawling paid off when I found the All Things Girl series.




And for the boys...


Listen to a podcast talking about All Things Guy here. (the discussion of the book starts at 13 mins)

Now the proof of the pie is in the eating and it doesn't matter how good the content is if the hoped-for audience isn't interested in reading.  I can attest to the attraction of these books to tweens. They are aimed at girls (and of course the guy one at boys) aged about 9-13.  Our girls have loved them more about the 8-12 age group then move on. They seem to strike a good balance between being cool and passing on lots of authentic truth. Check out the All Things Girl  website. There are other books aimed at teens though I haven't had a look at them yet. 

Next up, I mentioned in part one that the job of forming children in this important aspect of their lives is the job of the parents.  No school, nurse, peer, book, and most definitely not Planned Parenthood (Eeek!!) can do this job as well as those to whose care God has entrusted these very special little people. Oftentimes we can be unsure as to how to go about addressing these sometimes sensitive issues.  I'm sorry to tell you...there's no room for false modesty, prudishness or adolescent embarrassment when it comes to this.  At the same time some finesse, sensitivity and self-confidence are key.  Nobody knows any child more than the parents who love them and I certainly have discovered over the years, what's good for the goose is not necessarily good for the gander.  Children mature physically and emotionally at hugely differing rates which to me clearly shouts that a classroom of 25 preteens are not all ready for explicit diagrams and valueless 'information'.  With that in mind, I have found this next book excellent for helping to discern which child is ready for what and how to guide each child according to their spiritual, physical and emotional maturity.


It's a super guide for navigating children from infancy right through teenage years and beyond.  I dip into it constantly. 


OK...Moving on.  Here we are at the teenage years and the battle with a culture which you will probably find utterly at odds to our hopes for our children now emerging adults but not quite there yet...

These resources are robust.

For those of you who are familiar with Jason and Crystalina Evert you will find it no surprise that I have included them in my list.  For those who haven't, have a listen to Crystalina's testimony and judge for yourself whether it rings true...



Jason and Crystalina have a powerful gift of addressing the whole area of sexuality, culture and young people in an attractive, sometimes blunt, sometimes funny and always authentic way which touches the heart of teens and young adults simply because truth rings true.  Here Jason addresses parents of teenagers.  If you are one, you need to watch this clip:



Here's the link to their site, I've chosen the page showing their DVDs to link up...  Notice that they have versions from a faith perspective and also secular versions, as I've said...truth is true no matter what way you present it.  Equally a lie is a lie no matter how beautiful and attractive the packaging.  A lie will never bring you happiness.

Well that's enough to go on just now. I've said it before and I'll say it again, you have one chance of rearing your child...one chance.  It's worth putting yourself out for this.  It's more fun to watch TV, update Facebook or read the newspaper, but when you die..God won't ask you what was your high score on Bejewelled Blitz...He'll ask you how high did you score in going the extra mile for that child of His.  Read up, watch the YouTube clips, check the websites and pray for those children.  Other people have done the work for you, all you need to do is take what they've made available and pass it on. Do it well.

Happy browsing.

Don't forget to leave a comment to let me know you're popping by!
Feel free to add any resources you've found helpful.



13 comments:

  1. Thanks for all the information and encouragement. My oldest is five and about to start school and I want to make sure that we tell him things he needs to know when he's ready to know them. I completely agree that there's no way all 30 of those kids in that classroom are ready at the same time.

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    1. I'm delighted you're finding this helpful. There is a beautiful programme called 'You are a Masterpiece' aimed at children the age of yours, I can't track it down but if I do I'll post the link here. It's shown on EWTN from time to time.

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  2. Great post Jennifer. Our culture is so sexualised now that parents have to be on guard, even if children are still a very young age. It's our job to teach them!! The books you have mentioned here look great. I also cannot recommend the Everts enough, their resources have been a great help for me in my professional work with young people never mind myself and my own little one! Really looking forward to more posts on this topic!

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    1. Super! I've always found the analogy of 'don't grab' a perfect starting point for toddlers. It's so simple and yet applies to every area of our lives. Thanks for popping by x

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  3. Thanks for these resources Jennifer! This is really great. My oldest is getting to that age where this is becoming a priority. I want to start early though and do this right. I appreciate you sharing these.

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    1. I heard Fulton Sheen saying for every talk he gives there's 40 hours study backing it up! Good advice I think :-)

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  4. Amen, Jennifer!! I have the Popcak's book and THANK YOU, I had been trying to remember the all things girls series, it's a must get. Our big girl is quite the sponge right now. I agree with the open-ness and honesty in the B&B discussion. The biggest compliment (?) I got from our kids was when they had the B&B presentation at school and when I asked about it, they said "Ah, Mom, you already told us everything, there wasn't anything new." It's an ongoing and updating discussion because I want them to always feel able to talk with us about anything, even if it's difficult...especially if it's difficult!!

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    1. Oh that's great Tracy! I'm finding you have to get right in there before the school! And to teach them to be discerning about what they here from sources other than us. Thanks for dropping by :-)

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  5. Jennifer the ATG series looks fantastic and I have just made enquiries regarding the books for both the Tweens and Teens as I have both and the boy book. I have been talking to my kids all about their body changes (everyone of them at completely different ages) and what sex is meant for and not how it is portrayed today as something that is meant simply for pleasure driven by a society that is constantly pleasure seeking. This is becoming more and more difficult now that my teens have reached late teens and coming up against far greater peer pressure and also comments regarding their Catholic beliefs regarding sex as being totally out of date. Any help in this area is HUGELY appreciated. I also have 2 younger ones coming up along the line and am looking forward now to having the luxury of going through the girlie phases with my youngest daughter. Thank you for your great tips.

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    1. You're right, it's a bit more luxurious now as the resources are so good, there's such a greater understanding of sexuality now since JP2's Theology of The Body.And so easily available just click click click!

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  6. Jennifer, Thanks for the reviews of these books. I'd seen them advertised but had no idea if they would live up to the hype. I will definitely have to check them out. Especially the Popcak book; it's seems like the perfect book to hold my hand through the whole process.

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  7. Great Kelly, I hope your children like them too :-)

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  8. Just caught up on this one Jennifer, I always wondered where/when you would post the second instalment, but I missed it at the time! However, I now have tears streaming down my cheeks, we're at "that stage" and you've given me some great pointers and resources to face this stage with confidence. I loved the phrase ".....He'll ask you how high did you score in going the extra mile for that child of His" - beautifully captured! Aye, Steph xx

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